Caramel Vanilla Dream

Song I thought up in McDonalds. DO try the Caramel Iced Mocha.
Happy New Year, Tori. This was supposed to be an ode but it turned out quite differently.

if you're awake
the picture of you is hanging clearly in the head on my pillow
silently gathering dust
i thought maybe it was better
to let things slip and go by
instead of breaking apart again

so here i am
sitting quietly beside myself
i raise my glass and cheer
to victory for just a moment where the wind breaks over the snow
trapped here deeply in my
caramel vanilla ice cream dream
(dah dah dah dahdahdah dah dahdahdah)

my first mistake
was letting doubts hold silent symphonies in concert
halls in radiant trees and storms and thunder
twilight gathers over me just for a moment
things illuminated by the lightning sky

so here i am
writing words upon the screen and humming
almost unheard by the sleeping and falling new snow
i jump out my window to land
waistdeep in the middle of the drifts like dunes
escaping cars and chasing gentle breezes down the lane

snowfall, bury me away this year
snowfall, send me a pocket full of cheer i'm
trying not to let myself go very very far away to be
inside the center of a land where the ice won't melt for days
maybe i'll find it here this happy new year


so here we are
making lots of noise and cheering
hoping maybe this year will be better than the last i'm thinking
and if you're here, and you happen to stop by a while
maybe we can share an ice-cold caramel vanilla mocha
(dah dah dah dahdahdah dah dahdahdah)
caramel vanilla caramel dream
(dah dah dah dahdahdah dah dahdahdah)
snowfall, bury me away this year
snowfall, bury me away this year
vanilla ice-cream dream

Song #1

What It's Like
This is actually the first song I wrote. It was about a specific thing, but it could apply to a lot that was going on at that time. I wrote this Junior year, one Mythology class where Ms. Zenas took us to the school store and we didn't have any work to do.
Written by Alyxander Stokes

Like you're ever gonna tell me what it's like
Like you're ever gonna tell me how it feels
Like you're ever gonna tell me wrong from right
Like you're ever gonna tell me what is real
Like I'm ever gonna tell you what she said
Guess I never really knew myself at all
Too afraid to try and tell you what comes next
Too upset to get away before you fall

It's not like I'm making sense
Letting you fall away from
Some sort of distant future
Without recalling what it means

And it's not like I need you
It's not like anyone needs you
Or like you need anything
Anything more than me

Distance of a fallen foe
What is left is more to say
Well it happened anyway
Still I know which way to go

Letters left unsent to me
And you forfeit what is real
An idealistic form of be
Simply showing places

But it's not like you're ever gonna tell me what it's like
Like you're ever gonna tell me how you feel
Like you're ever gonna tell me wrong or right
Like you'll ever even know if it's all real
Like I'm ever gonna tell you what she said
Guess I'll never really know myself at all
Still afraid to even think of what comes next
Still content with just to sit and watch you fall

People call you on the phone
Friends from distant places
They just want you to come home
Such uncomplacent faces

Just a stretch away from you
Is just a stretch too close for me
I just need a bit more room
I just need to be set free

Fragmentative words are hurled
But it makes no diff'rence
Falling far from what I heard
The truth always differs

But it's not like you're ever gonna tell them what it's like
Like they're ever gonna ask you how you feel
Even if you really knew what's wrong or right
I'm just too afraid to help you disconceal
You're just too scared to really try to love again
She broke your heart and then she set your world a-spin
I try to help you but you're too undynamic
A shattered soul who's just emotionally sick

Simply falling all apart
At ev'ry little seam
At ev'ry little thing

If I try to fix your heart
Will you say
That you're sorry

If she told you how she felt
If I said the reason why
If you tried to think things out
If I tried to change her mind
If she did it in free will
And if it made a diff'rence
Would you tell me what is real
If I helped you to repent

It's not like I'm making sense
Letting you fall away from
Some sort of distant future
Without recalling what it means

untitled #2

Losing you made me realize the need to move on.
Purpose is restored in knowing that the past can't be changed.
Whatever goes wrong, it's true that what occured really happened.
Seeing the loss in front of my eyes removed the fetter that stopped me from going about my life.
To the ones I lost, remember: You were once mine.


"Where do Vanished objects go?"

untitled #1

i remember when we knew each other
every day was the same as the last
but it didn't seem to matter
we met in a shop near memphis
you were coming in and i was coming back from the city
sometimes i wonder if it was a love at first sight
but maybe i should have run away
things today never seem to stay the same
you traded black coffee for white cigarettes and a smile
that said take us to the city
and left me here with an empty checkbook and your old notepad
full of speculations on the horoscopes that never came true
gone to make your own way through the world we live in

Random Dada #13.7: Part Two of Two

 Wrote this at Morgan's house after pumpkin carving.
October 30, 2010.

Your mom's going to have a late-night rave, Disney songs on the TV radio, Password 0402. The dog stares, screams, oh god help me I'm dying. (What did you expect when you fed him cat food.) Really nice flowers, these little flames. I wonder what's in these things, sections on internet porn and vicevelvet gumbo, I'm sure you're into that. Barely inexpensive auctions, let's have a yard sale! The dog's fur is cutest around the eyes, scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch and they've already decided to have sex, get married, and quota reception in the hall. I can't imagine you carrying that, somehow. 18+ out, IT'S NOT FAIR! Can you imagine?

A whole crew of her own,
Seven
Twelve
Here for Christmas.
Maybe It's a curse.

Random Dada #13.5: Part One of Two

Started this in T-Mobile, finished at Morgan's house, after pumpkin carving.
October 30, 2010

Emnesty fallen branches of a foe. Nuclear. Eviction notice from Atria, placed internal violation. Vibrant application of radio waves, towers needling towards the skyline, phone service wedgelock. Snowfall on autumn's front porch, inside is better in cold weather. There is some. Look your best for Halloween, following faster in her sun-set glory. 2,004,837,499,624 Lost souls in hell. Save your self from carnage, Amnesia.

Amazed.

Make the most of your Sterling Heights vacation.

Next year, soup in a bread bowl will be the staple food.

Random Dada #17: Resurrection of Ragnarok

The keyword is "Caring," no one seems to use it anymore. Trapped, in two-bit sorrow, for eras. Wait for the one who cannot come to save you. It is true in and of itself that you are a LOST CAUSE. Whatever has been said or done matters not. I AM MY OWN BIRD i can fly alone can't i? wings, flapping in the night, can't get off the ground, lifting not the body of travel, what am i doing wrong?

Sovereign Nobility, ANCIENT blood races through our veins.
Winter herself said there might be more to this tale.
A tale of four lives; two marked RADIANT NIGHTMARE
How else can we fix this problem? Allow me to front a solution. I shoot, and you die. Show them how to swim. Waiting, water two feet high and dropping. WHERE HAS THE BRIDGE GONE? Climbclimbclimbclimb

There are hornets in the fenced truck.

Hey, you. Yeah, you, reading this. Apparently everyone else thinks I'm depressed. Am I? No, just bored. Get me a soda, will you?